Today was a hard day. We have experienced great heartache this year, the kind that could tear people apart and our family (for others reading this: Nathan's side) has suffered yet another tremendous and unexpected loss. However instead of letting it pull us apart and expose our ugly human sides, we choose to allow it to bring us together, to surround each other in love.
This loss has reopened painful wounds, that although I know won't ever completely heal, I had naively believed had become tolerable...even ignorable. It has reminded me that pain, although survivable will be a constant in my life for the rest of my days. It has made my longing and grief for you rear it's ugly head, though in truth it's never really gone at all. However, it has allowed me to count my blessings that are easily forgotten in the monotony of the day to day and so I am thankful.
I am thankful that we used today to both celebrate your uncle Ken and enjoy time as a family. I am thankful that BOTH of our kids are so loved by their grandparents and their many aunts, uncles, and cousins and step aunts and uncles and cousins. I am thankful for friends like Tahnya who accept the role of auntie and are there when we need them. For friends that have walked beside us through the good, bad, and ugly we have experienced since losing you.
Mostly I am thankful that we know through Psalm 34:18 that God is near to the broken hearted and saves those crushed in spirit and that we will see the ones we love once again in Heaven and what a glorious reunion it will be and how my heart will rejoice not only because I'm in the presence of both Jesus and with you and my other loved ones again but for the peace and reprieve from grief I will finally be granted. I am thankful that He knows our pain and he takes us in his arms and holds us near. I am thankful that though there is pain in this fallen world, in the next there will be none.
#missingnathanalways but #hopefulthroughjesus
